jamie has only been away for 36 hours and i’ve learned every word to every demi lovato song ever released, eaten about half of a huge lindt chocolate bunny, taken about twenty million photos of my dogs, and cut up magazines to make a scrapbook. i think i’m turning into the next-generation bridget jones.
managed to cut my feet out of the photo even though they were perfect, but what are you gonna do without a personal professional photographer? anyway, this is my first (ish) attempt at a proper yoga headstand.
i was having a really bad day so jamie made me toast and cut it into small triangles and held me and stroked my hair and kissed my face. so perfect, i love them so much.
i just did some yoga and i managed to do a crow pose and a baby crow for like .2 seconds and then a really bad side crow but i got my legs off the ground and WOW amazing. i’m so proud and i’m gonna practise every day so i get strong and buff and can do handstands effortlessly.
but now i’m hungry again and i had dinner only 3 hours ago and it made me feel SO FULL for like an hour and all that’s going round my head is my mum’s weight watcher slogans of “you only get hungry at night because you’re bored it’s not **//**true///**** hunger” even though i’m not even bored because i’ve been contorting my body for the best part of 30 minutes.
gahhh. i don’t know what to do.
my mum wants to make me a special vegan easter dessert and my hands are sweating and my stomach is tying itself in knots. i can’t even fathom having to eat dinner at my grandparents’ let alone a dessert as well.
going to yoga. realise i have the body of a twelve year old. hm.
unfollowed a load of “skinny”/ed blogs/general blogs that are triggering. i need to change my mindset and stop torturing myself with attaining this unreachable idea of perfection and i need to be thankful of where i am, the body i have, and the people who care about me.
pretty sure i just burned ~1000 calories mopping, hoovering and antibacterial-ing the kitchen, living room and hall. i’m pretty sure i’m the only person in this house who doesn’t live according to minimal home hygiene standards.
i only ever wear black now
i’ve had to cancel my yoga class today because i fell down a step yesterday and twisted my ankle. as if it still hurts..i’m such a pensioner.
today i was meant to do my seminar work, but instead have
- painted a focus nail on each hand
- made my mum a birthday card
- bought and drunk copious amounts of tea and cream soda
- laid in bed
- watched sailor moon online
- updated my ipod
- cuddled my dog
productive, but not in the right way.